Getting an ex back is never going to be an easy thing. This is because a relationship can be very complicated because men and women are very different creatures.

Usually, men find it hard to understand women. For women, they also tend to find it hard understanding men. Ultimately, our view is usually quite limited. Unless you specifically go and educate yourself about the subject of men and women, it is usually quite difficult for people to understand the behavior of the opposite gender.

Men will only know how to view the world through the lens of men. Similarly, women will only know how to view the world through the lens of women. If you want to increase your odds of winning your boyfriend back, it pays to understand more about men.

The number one thing that men hate is to be nagged. Ultimately, what your boyfriend want is a companion who love, respect and most importantly, to admire him. He does not need a woman to nag at him. He already has a mother who is nagging at him and he does not need another woman to fulfill that parental roles.

Also, men like to be admired. To be more precise, men want to be your hero. Men want to be seen as heroes in your eyes. If your man knows that you admire him, he is more than willing to do anything for you.

And this is why nagging is so destructive. Will you nag at someone you admire. Most probably not, I guess. And if a man can sense that you no longer admire him, what happens? Well, your relationship is going to deteriorate to a certain extent.

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Breaking up with your ex boyfriend or husband can be very painful. I understand from personal experience. All those dreams you had about building a life together—money, house, children—ALL GONE. The pain of thinking that all of those dreams you had with that person are vanished, and the thought of not seeing that person or hearing their voice is excruciatingly painful.

There are ways to get your ex boyfriend back. Let’s face it ladies, men are very simple creatures. Small gestures and strategies can win them back- you just have to give them time to think, and appeal to what makes them tick.

Relationships are fragile bonds that must be continually nurtured and respected in order to flourish. Each person involved in a relationship is responsible for providing value to the other half for a natural balance to be created. It is when this balance is broken that problems start to occur, but it is possible to save a relationship or even save a marriage by salvaging what is left of a torn relationship.

Here are the crucial first steps to get your ex boyfriend back

Be Strong, not Needy

There is an wise-old saying that rings very true: “no one needs the needy”. This begging, clinging, and desperate behavior is much more likely to repel your lost love rather than attract your ex back. Nothing turns off a man more than showing “neediness”.

First of all, men tend to think that you can’t think on your own and be your own person if you are constantly latched on to someone. Second, if needy behavior if shown, men tend to think that you’ll be available at their beck and call whenever they want you. You need to show them that you will NOT be available for them 24-7 if they are not willing to commit to you.

While this is not easy, it MUST BE DONE. Find ways to spend time with friends and family to help get your mind off the situation. After all, they can give you more insight on the situation at hand and give you a third party view on issues that you might have missed. Not only is it important to prove to the world that you can come through in the toughest of times, but you also need to prove it to yourself. While no one is claiming that breakups are easy, but it is necessary to keep the yelling and crying behind closed doors.

Minimize Contact with your Ex Boyfriend, Increase Contact with others

Closing the doors of communication may seem counter opposite to rebuilding a failed relationship, but it is one of the most important steps. You both need time to breathe and relax to think about what went wrong. Additionally, allowing time to think separately can avoid hurtful words from being yelled out and hurting the situation even more. You do not want to talk about the situation in an angry context. NOTHING will be accomplished except insults, swearing, and hurt- if you try to talk to each other when angry. There is a reason that things have made it to this point, and it is obvious that someone needs a break. Allowing time for reflection on the relationship, events that occurred, and the behavior and thought is the best way to evaluate your relationship. This also gives your Ex time to clear their mind. It could be that some time away will remind them of how valuable your relationship was.

Be Flexible

This is not the time to start issuing mandates like “pick up your things by Monday or else”. You will make poor decisions if you make choices when you are angry or sad. You will find a rude awakening  if you think that you can scare someone into returning. Remember that your Ex left you because they were unsatisfied with some aspect of your relationship. This means it is time to become the listener and sympathizer. A lot of relationships fail because the listening is not there, or communication in general of each other’s feelings. This does not mean you have to agree to their every demand (see Be Strong), but you will probably have to meet beyond halfway when rebuilding the bridge of communication to rebuild or save a relationship.

Get Out and Enjoy Life independent of your Ex Boyfriend—How YOU want to make it

This is no time to be alone—spend time with friends and family—people that care about you no matter what. First, you are in a fragile emotional state when you break up. Spending time with friends can help alleviate some pain and help you have some fun for your own good—which IS GOOD! You need to develop other forms of entertainment in your life, meaning you need to occupy your time and thinking  and learn to develop a self-realization of who you really are!  Plus, new experience can help you grow as a person, and give you some new stories to tell to everyone.

And most of all…BE YOURSELF!

There is  a reason that you and your Ex were initially attracted to each other, and this was because you are a unique person—no one else is like you, you are mesmerizing in your own special way. Think of what made these first weeks or months so special, and try to identify what had changed to make things go bad. Sometimes relationships can become monotonous and boring, and you can forget what it was that made both of you compatible. Learn to show your good qualities and strive to be the real person you are. This renewed self-perception of yourself will rub off on everyone around you, and the newly-found self-confidence will improve your attitude as well!

Extra Resources

It is not easy to win back the love of your life, but it can be done, with some extra work and patience. . Determination and consistency are VERY essential qualities needed to be successful. Patience is the primary quality you want to keep at the center. It can be very hard waiting for a relationship to rebuild, but in the long run, love takes time. The basic strategies above will get you started on your quest, but it is important to continue to adapt to the situation in front of you. If you truly love your Ex, then you need to do everything in your power to prove yourself.

Dirty Tactics to Get Your Ex Boyfriend Back

That said, I encourage you to read my step-by-step blueprint to get your ex boyfriend back. It contains heaps of priceless information on how the male opposite sex thinks and how to work that to your advantage. After hundreds of hours of research and personal one on one coaching sessions, I have developed an easy to follow step by step system of dirty tactics for getting your ex boyfriend to come crawling back to you and begging for your love again.

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Don’t be jealous of your ex-boyfriend/husband.

April 11, 2010

The key to the long term success of any relationship is that each partner feels both free and secure. There’s nothing more important in a relationship that both partners are willing to stay in not because they feel they have to, or are afraid of what they will lose if they call it quits, but because they [...]

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